


Death & Heartache - FCND Angst

by josephseeds_rosary



Category: Far Cry 5, Far Cry: New Dawn
Genre: AU, Angst, Contemplation of Suicide, F/M, Original Character(s), Weaponry, depiction of gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 23:24:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephseeds_rosary/pseuds/josephseeds_rosary
Summary: FCND is not part of Regan (my OC) and Joseph’s canon, HOWEVER, I was thinking “Hmm, how angsty could it get if I wrote Regan outliving her husband?”, hence this little fic.  My heart did break a bit writing this.  I hope you all enjoy!Originally posted to Tumblr





	Death & Heartache - FCND Angst

Their home was engulfed in flames; crumbling and soon to be nothing but dust and ashes.

Regan had sent her children along with the rest of the flock off to safety, that being her first priority.

Her second priority was her husband.

Joseph, to her consternation, disappeared to deal with the source of all this madness. Or so that’s what she assumed. He was nowhere to be found until she turned and spotted more flames and smoke reaching the northbound sky. She couldn’t know for sure, but in the pit of her gut she felt that - aside from the devastation of New Eden - something terrible was going to happen. While her blood grew hot and her heart sank lower in her chest, she ran towards the burning tree that New Eden once called their “miracle”.

Dirt flew behind her trail with every pace she took. As she grew closer to the fire, the air thickened with smoke. Her eyes burned and her breath shortened as she squinted and coughed her way through the smog, and after a while, she was unsure if she was even heading in the right direction. She was certainly close though.

Then the sound of a gunshot blared.

It was a noise that rippled through the night sky, making Regan recoil and drop to her knees. With her senses being as impaired as they were, it was all she could think of to do. Until she realized that worse might have come to worst. Joseph was still out there, which made her stomach churn wildly. She needed to find him and get to him fast.

She panted as she reached the source of the flames, doing everything in her power to abolish the fatigue she was beginning to feel. Through the smoke that began to clear, she saw the body of her husband sprawled out before her. Lifeless. No struggle, no movement, no pain. Blood dripped from the bullet wound in his chest, and painted over the same scars and tattoos that she used to worship with her lips each night.

The sight of him made her heart wrench inside her chest, with every feeling of fear, anger, and distress seeping down to pool in the pit of her stomach. The fatigue drained itself away as she ran to his side and dropped to her knees.

No. This wasn’t happening. He couldn’t be dead. God wouldn’t let this happen.

“Joseph!”

She called to him, keeping her sobs at bay as she applied pressure to his wound. Flustered and frazzled, she made every attempt she could think of to breathe life back into his body. And when he remained unmoving… she panicked.

The tears began to flow while she shook him lightly by the shoulders. Still nothing.

“JOSEPH!” she screamed before her voice broke into pained sobs. “I love you… Talk to me, say something!”

_God wouldn’t let this happen._

If he were still full of life, he would have cupped her face in his hands, looking at her with such love and tenderness in his eyes while he whispered a slew of comforting words. But instead, he lie there limp in his wife’s now shaking arms.

He was gone.

There was no suppressing her cries now. No hiding her emotions. No more fighting. She allowed for her tears to fall and her sobs to be heard. Her heartache deepened, and she could feel every piece of it crumbling inside her. It choked the breath from her body and in that moment, it felt as if it short circuited her mind. All she wanted to do was hold Joseph close to her in hopes that she could somehow bring him back. Over and over she kissed his face and whispered a string of “I love you”s and “I’m sorry”s into his ear.

It was then that she felt the presence of someone else behind her.

Regan turned over her shoulder to see the Captain standing there with a pistol gripped tightly in their hands. Had the focal point of this scene not been Joseph, she might have noticed them sooner. They seemed to be surprised and guilt stricken by her grief, and she immediately saw red. Her heartache devolved into anger, but she was too grounded in her sorrow to move.

“What have you done?” she asked, not bothering to wipe away the tears that still poured from her swollen eyes. She turned back to her husband with a desperate hope that there still might be life inside him.

“He told me to.” was all they responded with. Straight toned and monotonous.

Regan shook her head and bit her lip to suppress her sobs. They were wrong. He wouldn’t do such a thing. He was the leader of their New Eden. The flock needed him. She needed him. Their children… God, how was she going to tell her children that their father was dead?

“What did he say?!” she yelled finally.

“He said his soul was a cancer. That he only spread suffering and death in the name of God.”

Regan’s breath hitched and her eyes narrowed. Whether the Captain’s recollection was true or not, never in her life did she think she would hear those words from Joseph. Her mind immediately reflected on all of the times years back, when she made every vicious attempt to pull that confession from him. How he refused her. How she instigated. How that cycle would catch them in a whirlwind of chaos and destruction. Hearing those words now… they shocked her at the very least. This wasn’t like him.

She heard the Captain’s voice shake nervously as they went on.

“We… He didn’t think you survived the Highwaymen.”

There wasn’t much more that she needed to hear. It slowly dawned on her that Joseph was really gone. She would never get him back, no matter how many tears she cried, no matter how many times she called out for him. A newfound pain tore at her chest when she thought of every way she could have prevented his death. If she would have run just a little faster. If she would have reached him just a minute sooner. If she would have gone with him instead of tending to the flock… he would still be alive. This feeling of loss always weighed on her heavily. Loss followed her like a shadow she could never shake, and she grew accustomed to it. But _this_ loss stung the most. How the hell was she supposed to move forward without her love?

Regan turned back to the Captain slowly, eyeing the pistol that they still held onto. The thought of her being reunited with Joseph again mesmerized her, and she became drawn to the one thing that could bridge the gap.

But then she remembered their children, who she knew were safe and sound. Her entire world was back south waiting for her to return. They needed her just as much as they needed him, and that in itself was enough to ground her. She would live for them, and despite him being unaware of their survival, it was what he would have wanted. She needed to get back to them.

With her hands covered in her husband’s blood, Regan stood and slung Joseph’s body over her shoulders. It was as if death made him weightless. She then turned to the Security Captain, who still stood watching, though seemingly more relaxed now. Crossing to them, Regan offered a knowing glance, and then eyed the pistol, which she reached to touch with the tips of her fingers.

“No more of this.” she started. “He was right. Too much death has been spread, but… not just by him.”

She glanced back at the Captain once more, and in their eyes she tried to find a trace of anything from Joseph that lingered. She tried to find what he saw in them. What God saw in them. But even if she couldn’t find it she trusted him, and usually he was right. This Captain would shepherd their people, though the question remained whether they would embrace this gift or leave it untouched. Something quite similar to what Joseph had told her many years ago.

“Whether or not you heed his words… you are welcome with us.”

That was all Regan offered them before walking away with Joseph’s body limp over her shoulders, tears of her heartbreak beginning to sting her eyes once more. Things would be different. They had to be for the sake of the New World. Everything she would do from this moment forward would be to honor Joseph, whether it was God’s will or not.


End file.
